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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27414202">A Night To Forget</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saita_the_Kirin/pseuds/Saita_the_Kirin'>Saita_the_Kirin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drunken Shenanigans, F/F, M/M, Marriage, Multi, Other, Parody</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:48:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,438</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27414202</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saita_the_Kirin/pseuds/Saita_the_Kirin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alastor wakes up with a hangover after participating in a drinking contest with Angel and finds out what he did last night.</p><p>(Skyrim side quest: A Night To Remember parody)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alastor &amp; Fat Nuggets (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne/Vaggie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello my dear duckies, I've wanted to dip into the Hazbin Hotel writting community but I'm fairly out of practice in many regards, so I decided to make this parody to get the juices flowing, update will be in the end notes.</p><p>Enjoy~</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alastor awoke to the worst hangover he's ever had in his entire life, dead or alive.</p><p>"What happened last night?"</p><p>Despite the feedback screaming in his head he sat up in bed and rubbed at his sore eyes. Opening them again he finally saw just where he was. Everything was pink, pink and fuzzy. As if the color alone wasn't enough of a clue of just <em> where </em> he was, the copious amount of … <em> pleasure toys, </em> confirmed his suspicions.</p><p>Alastor did the only sensible thing his hungover brain could think to do at that time. He leaned over the edge of the bed and threw up violently in both repulsion and from the leftover alcohol in his stomach. Someone apparently had the forethought to leave a bucket beside the bed, likely one of the buckets for Angel's many benders.</p><p>After he was finished filling the bucket, Alastor looked to the other side of the bed. If Angel was there he would kill him, context be damned. Fortunately for Angel, the space next to Alastor was bare of anyone, not even that demon pig Angel insisted on keeping as a pet.</p><p>Alastor scoffed. "Some bacon for breakfast would have helped."</p><p>Getting off the bed with a half hearted smile (it was the closest thing to a frown he would allow on his face), Alastor set about sneaking back to his own room. As boring as it would be, he would rather kill everyone here then allow anyone to think he would have a one night stand with Angel of all demons.</p><p>Stepping into the hallway, Alastor could see the path of destruction that ended at his feet. Photographs were scattered about the floors, a large section of wall was missing allowing one to be able to see into the room that was behind it. He could see a pair of panties hanging on a ceiling lamp and a pool of water that sat outside of a staff restrooms. Alastor could only stare in shock, skull pounding headache forgotten as he took in the sight before him.</p><p>Niffty was never a terrifying demon, at best she was pleasant company, at worst she was a minor nuisance. Right now she was a predator that had the deer demon firmly in her crosshairs. As quick as a bullet, she had Alastor's slightly rumpled suit balled up in her tiny fists, her large eye glowed with a fury that Alastor was not used to seeing from a demon that wasn't an overlord.</p><p>"You!" Her voice was a strange mix between a growl and a venomous hiss. "You did this to my hotel! Do you have any idea how much work you've piled onto me after that party you threw?!"</p><p>Alastor's normal response of peeling the small angry cyclops off of him failed. Her shrill voice was like a knife into his brain as he tried to process what the smaller demon had just told him.</p><p>"A party?"</p><p>"Yes! A party! A big blow out party that did all of this!" She waved a hand towards all the damage visible.</p><p>"I'm sorry Niffty. I'm afraid I don't quite remember what happened last night. Here, be a dear and clean up this mess up please?" Alastor pulled out a big wad of bills that were snatched out of his hand just as fast as she pounced upon him. Her bright energetic smile back upon her face as she thumbed through the wad of bills.</p><p>"Ohh~ Mista Alastor! You're so good to me. I'll be sure to get started right away. Oh Alastor, one more thing," her smile was wide as her eye narrowed, "<b>DON'T DO IT AGAIN!</b>"</p><p>With that she smiled again before turning on her heel and zooming down the hallway to her designated cleaning closet.</p><p>Alastor watched her go before sighing painfully. He didn't see just how much he gave her but Alastor knew he just burned a big fat hole in his wallet.</p><p>When Alastor walked into the lobby he was initially surprised to see that while it was completely trashed, it was bare of anyone's presence.</p><p>He had fully expected to see the princess fretting about the damages, that, or at the very least he expected Vaggie to have that spear in his face. Then he remembered that the two had gone out for a date the night before and left the hotel in his care.</p><p>Alastor sighed to himself and prepared to go back to his private office to wait for them to return when he heard the sound of a car door opening then being slammed shut. He could hear an aggressive argument taking place outside that grew louder as it came closer though he couldn't make out the words.</p><p>The front doors swung open as Husk stormed in, hackles raised, his normally frowning face was a scowl as he snarled. "I don't give a fuck why he did it, I'm gonna skin him alive when I find that bastard!"</p><p>Charlie was close behind him as she tried in vain to calm the furious feline. Vaggie followed soon after but she had a look that said she was already thoroughly done with the day as she closed the door behind her.</p><p>"Please Husk, I'm sure Alastor has a reason for why he kidnapped you and sold you, we just have to find him and ask; why…" Her words trailed off as she took in the sight of her hotel and of Alastor who stood in the ruined lobby looking like he had just gotten home from the type of party Angel would usually attend.</p><p>When Husk saw the radio demon, his fury was turned fully to Alastor. "You bastard! How dare you sell me off!" The cat was positively livid, his fur standing on end as he hissed.</p><p>Vaggie's own surprise quickly turned to rage as she waved a hand to the ruined lobby. "You also want to explain what happened to the hotel?! This is the first thing a damned soul will see when they walk in you know!"</p><p>Alastor's headache didn't appreciate the screaming and let the deer know by returning in full force.</p><p>"Pardon me?"</p><p>"You heard me you fucking bastard! You and Angel kidnapped me while I slept, took me to a butcher and sold me!"</p><p>"Alastor what happened here last night?"</p><p>There were too many questions being fired at Alastor all at once for him to make sense of anything being said so he just stared at everyone rather dumbly for a moment.</p><p>"Alright everyone, stop for a minute." Please stop, for the sake of his hangover, stop. Alastor took a seat at the bar, careful to avoid the sticky and gross mess from the spilled contents of the many broken bottles that lie scattered about. Alastor rubbed at his aching head, trying to will his hangover to go away. Now that Husk mentioned it, Alastor had completely forgotten about Angel.</p><p>"Does anyone know where Angel is by the way? I haven't seen him since I woke up in- I mean, since I woke up this morning."</p><p>He cursed himself for the slip up but chose not to acknowledge it in hopes that the others did the same. Charlie was the next to speak up.</p><p>"He messaged us before we went to pick up Husk from the butchers, I think he said something about needing to get a new dress."</p><p>"Did he say what he needed a dress for?"</p><p>"Who the hell cares why he needs a dress! You apperently needed some fucking rings last night, what does it matter?!"</p><p>"Rings?"</p><p>"Yeah! The fucking rings you bought with the money you got from selling me!"</p><p>Alastor looked at his own hands and much to his astonishment he saw a simple gold wedding band on his left index finger.</p><p>The entire room fell silent save for the screeching of a record scratch.</p><p>As if waiting for that exact moment, Angel Dust kicked in the front door. The normally slutty spider was dressed in a surprisingly modest soft pink dress save for his overly fluffed up chest, long boots and gloves that covered the part of his legs and arms that his dress hadn't, in one of his second set of hands was an intricately carved rose staff. His make-up would have made his face and soft fur even sweeter had it not been for his very well developed resting bitch face.</p><p>"I'm back bitches! Did ya' miss- <em> me!" </em> The 'me' came out of a squeak as a dark tentacle wrapped around him with almost enough force to crush the spider's bones to dust. He was pulled to a stop in front of the furious overlord who's face could be politely referred to as a complete fucking nightmare.</p><p>"Angel," Alastor's voice was tooth rotteningly sweet, "you mind explaining this to me?" Alastor's head cocked to the side as Angel gasped and sputtered desperately. Alastor relented if only by a fraction.</p><p>"Al, I can't breathe!" Angel gasped and was turning a rather lovely shade of red that complimented his dress quite nicely. Alastor finally loosened his iron grip if only a little and allowed the squeezed spider a proper breath of air.</p><p>"Come again?"</p><p>"I don't know what you're talkin' about!" Alastor wasn't convinced and only responded by holding his newly ringed hand up for the stripper to see. Angel's face lighted up with surprise, then annoyance, before finally settling on a pouty resentment.</p><p>"Oh yeah, that." Angel looked away sounding disappointed before another warning squeeze from Alastor reminded him of the position he was in. "Alright! Alright! Geez. You can't even let a guy nurse a broken heart, no you gotta crush the afterlife out of- <b> <em>him!</em> </b>"</p><p>Alastor had clearly run out of patience and if the next word that came out of Angel's mouth were anything other than <em> answers</em>, well, the hotel would need to find a new test subject for Charlotte's redemption project.</p><p>Angel's meager sense of self preservation seemed to finally kick in. "Fine! I'll tell you, just stop squeezing me already!"</p><p>Angel wiggled a bit to encourage the overlord to let him go but Alastor was content to keep the other in the crush zone of his shadow.</p><p>Angel huffed and slumped. "I thought it would be fun to challenge you to a drinking contest last night. Cherri found this booze that'll have you on your ass after a cup so I thought it would be funny to see you drunk for a change."</p><p>Alastor didn't budge an inch but the tentacles tightened slightly in warning. "After around three cups you were plastered, I gave up after two myself. Anyways, I flirted with ya a bit like I always did as a joke, I fully expected you to punch my lights out, but you were so drunk you totally went along with it, but not in the way I thought you would."</p><p>The only thing that saved Angel from a second death was Charlie whom had had enough and tugged at a tentacle with a surprising amount of strength, forcing Alastor to relent his tight hold. A moment later Angel dropped to the floor and scrambled to get away from the quietly livid radio demon save for all the background static.</p><p>"Believe me, I wanted to be the one you chose but apparently I wasn't good enough for ya." Angel pouted and shrugged.</p><p>"Then why are you dressed like that?" Alastor sounded like he was about three seconds away from snapping.</p><p>Angel looked him straight in the face before responding. "Because your<em> bridezilla</em> wouldn't let me pick something more sexy. Angel ran his hands up the length of his body until he pushed up his already too fluffy bust.</p><p>"My bride- what now?"</p><p>Before Alastor could press further (by grabbing Angel and crushing his bones) the doors to the hotel flew open once again. All eyes turned to see Fat Nuggets dressed in a cute tailor-made wedding dress, a small vail covered his round face and blushing cheeks. Upon his stubby little leg shined a diamond wedding ring that drew the attention of everyone in the room.</p><p>You could hear a pin drop, the silence was practically deafening. That was until Angel smiled widely and announced aloud "here comes the bride-<b>AHHHHHH</b>!"</p><p>The entire hotel exploded in a mixture of dark magics and a furious hiss of static. The building was then gripped by the tentacles and was pulled inwards by the incredible force, killing all the occupants inside as Alastor would rather die than let it get out that the mighty radio demon overlord had married a pig.</p><p>The End</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. What a Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh boy I didn't expect this joke to blow up like it has. This is the fastest growing story I've ever posted and it was of a joke! ... Huh.</p><p>Anyways back by popular demand and the fact that I wanted to add a second part, here is the second and final chapter to this joke of a story.</p><p>Enjoy~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Thank you so much for this Alastor! I know it was asking a lot but Vaggie and I could really use the night to relax and have fun."</p><p>Charlie had been nervous to approach Alastor initially, whether it was because she was actually scared of him or because she didn't want to bother him, Alastor couldn't tell and honestly, he didn't care. Either way he didn't mind doing this for his business partner every once in a while, after all, what better way was there to build trust? The best games often took some time to set up after all and Alastor was a patient man.</p><p>"Of course my dear Charlotte, maybe you could even get dear Vaggitha to smile." He made the motion of a smile and it got a polite chuckle in return. Oh Charlotte, watching this hotel burn to the ground was going to be so satisfying.</p><p>"We'll see about that. Thanks again." With that she waved and took the arm of her normally standoffish girlfriend who actually looked happy enough to smile for a change, it was a rare sight for anyone that wasn't the princess.</p><p>Yes, a very satisfying game indeed.</p><p>Seeing the girls off, Alastor prepared to return to his office for the night with the intention of getting some work done. If he was lucky he would have a little time left over to work out a new song rotation into his broadcast.</p><p>With a hum of his favorite song, Alastor decided to get the few tasks he had in the front of house before he forgot. Passing by the bar he saw Husk at his usual post. The feline practically radiated a <em>go the fuck away</em> vibe. The cat looked particularly exhausted today as he nursed a bottle of some cheap swill Alastor wouldn't even touch, he was just finishing closing up the bar for the night. It wasn't often but on quiet nights like Husk often turned in early.</p><p>"Is everything well this evening, Husk?" Alastor received a mumbled but short, "yeah." The scornful tone rolled right off his back as Alastor nodded approvingly. Angel seemed to appear out of nowhere, startling both demons though Alastor didn't flinch.</p><p>"What?! No last calls?" Angel practically whined as Husk worked to get his heart rate and breathing under control again. "Even if I did last calls, you're way too late! Now fuck off Angel!"</p><p>The porn star huffed in annoyance as Alastor shook his head. "Aren't you supposed to be working on getting sober Angel?" His tone was skeptical as Angel mocked offense. "Al?! Not you too! I already get enough of that from Charlie as it is." He stuck out his lower lip in a pout which had absolutely no effect on either demon present.</p><p>Husk growled something unintelligible before walking around the bar to head off to bed. Angel followed the cat with his eyes for a long moment before turning back to Alastor with a sly grin that immediately set Alastor's nerves on edge.</p><p>"So Al-"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Aww, come on Al, you don't even know what it is yet."</p><p>"Knowing you, it's something I won't like."</p><p>"Oh please, I've seen you drink before. I got this bottle of booze from Cherri that can have you on your ass by half a cup."</p><p>"I believe that would count as contraband, Angel."</p><p>"Yes but it's the fun kind of contraband that we both can enjoy." The spider was using all the tricks of persuasion he had that didn't involve his body and damn it all if he wasn't wearing down the radio demon's resolve.</p><p>"Fine, I'll have one cup." What harm could it do?</p><p>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx</p><p>Alastor swayed in his chair as the potent liquor hit his stomach. He had intended to just have a polite sip so Angel would stop complaining to him but the taste was surprisingly palatable. It was a little sweet for his likings but he found that he could actually drink it.</p><p>Angel had already drained half his cup, mostly as reassurance for Alastor that the drink wasn't drugged but the alcohol was clearly already having an effect on the spider.</p><p>"Woah, Cherri wasn't kidding! This stuff has some real kick to it!" Angel inspected the bottle as he slurred slightly.</p><p>Alastor took a deeper drink that settled in his stomach warmly. "I believe that's one of the few things we've ever agreed on." Alastor kept his tone cold and controlled for a moment longer before cracking and chuckling himself.</p><p>Angel gave Alastor an appraising look before a devious grin split his face as he lifted the bottle a little, "hey Al, want to have a little contest? I bet 'cha I can drink more of this than you can."</p><p>The little voice in the back of his mind told him that this was a terrible idea and that he should stop for the night but everyone seemed to be taking the night off so screw it! Alastor could let his hair down just this once.</p><p>"You're on."</p><p>The clink of their glasses was the last coherent thing Alastor remembered happening.</p><p>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx</p><p>Alastor had to help Angel to the nearest restroom as the spider was too drunk to even know what a straight line was, much less walk one. Alastor was even more drunk but was able to keep himself up as well as help drag Angel along with him. </p><p>Once at the restroom Angel stumbled in and started hurling in the toilet while Alastor caught himself from falling flat on his face, that ended with him accidentally putting a hand through the wall in the process. Alastor blinked in alarm, not because he broke the wall but because he couldn't immediately pull his arm free.</p><p>"Angel! I think the wall 'hic', I think the wall has eaten my arm!" Alastor thrashed a moment before kicking out a part of the wall only to get that leg stuck as well. Angel flushed the toilet after wiping his mouth, it immediately backed up before starting to overflow. Angel stared at it for a moment before shrugging and closing the door behind him.</p><p>"Angel help!" Alastor's panic had Angel's head whipping around before he narrowed his eyes at the wall. "Don't 'hic' don't worry, Al! I'll 'hic' save you!" Angel ran over and thrusted his shoulders into the wall and had actually broken clean through it and landed into the vacant room on the other side. Well on the bright side Alastor was now freed from the wall that threatened to eat him.</p><p>"Thank you! Angel!" Angel stumbled out of the huge hole he just made with an overly proud smile. "No problem Smiley!"</p><p>The pair stumbled back to the bar area, whether it was for more alcohol or because they needed to sit down was unclear.</p><p>"Hey Al, did I ever tell you just how handsome you are? Those horns are pretty cute as well." Angel was only half joking with the deer as he settled down next to him at the bar. Angel was careful to keep his hands to himself even though the liquor was making a lot of great suggestions to him right now.</p><p>Alastor paused a minute, seeming to size up the other for a moment. "You know Angel, you're actually not so hard on the eyes yourself." Alastor's voice was practically a drunken purr.</p><p>"Oh really? That's a surprise." Angel flashed him a winning smile as Alastor swept his arm wide as he spun in his seat, knocking over and breaking several bottles of booze in the process. "Yes, you'd be quite attractive were it not for your endless sex jokes and your disgusting profession. A part of me wants to just steal you away so you'll never have to do it again!" Alastor spun around again and ended up falling off the chair which ended in a giggling fit.</p><p>If Angel took any offense from the comment he didn't show it, instead he chose to undress Alastor with his eyes while the other was standing himself up. "Well why don't you put a ring on it?" Alastor was going to punch him for sure now.</p><p>Alastor stood ramrod straight as the words made their rounds in his drunken brain. "That sounds like a great idea! 'hic' I should propose but I don't have a ring." Alastor patted around his waist but didn't find his wallet because it was in his back pocket. "My wallet's gone! I think my shadow might have stolen it, that bastard!" Alastor scowled at his completely sober shadow who looked baffled at the glare being shot its way.</p><p>"Oh shit you're right!" Angel thought it over but was coming up at a blank. Alastor thought about it for a moment before an idea popped in his head. "Come with me 'ngel, I think I have an idea."</p><p>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx</p><p>Husk had fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was slightly buzzed and was an admittedly heavy sleeper, so nothing seemed off right away to him despite the odd rocking sensation.</p><p>He felt something brush against his face so he swatted at it with a hand, or, at least he tried to anyways. "The fuck?" He tried again to move his arm only to find that it was bound tightly to his side. The rocking sensation became worse as he tried to move his other arm only to be met with the same result.</p><p>Now alarmed, Husk cracked open an eye as best as his drunken haze allowed. What he saw was a moving blur of redish greys, it was hard to see past the blanket he was partly wrapped in. "What the fuck!" His sluggish mind managed to beat back enough of the drunken haze for him to fully wake up and started to thrash as best as he could.</p><p>"Hehehe, I think he woke up Al." Angel?!</p><p>Husk caught sight of the spider who was leaning against a wall because of Husk's attempts to free himself. Before Husker could even begin to start yelling at the asshole who was holding his legs, a new red blur filled his vision.</p><p>"Alastor? What in the actual fu- pfft!" Before Husk could finish the sentence, Alastor shoved a hard rubber ball in his mouth, effectively gagging the cat.</p><p>Alastor for his part looked completely shit faced. He swayed and stumbled against the same wall as Angel, the bastard had dropped his half of Husk who was hissing and swearing around the ball gag forced into his mouth.</p><p>"Husker my dear, woah! Hehe, wait, what was I saying?" Alastor worked his mouth as he tried to sound out loud what he was thinking before giving up with a toss of his hands, immediately dropping Husk's front half. "Doesn't matter!"</p><p>Alastor laughed to himself before seemingly remembering what he was doing. "Alright Angel, you grab your end, I'll grab mine." After a few seconds they managed to lift the feline again after dropping him again. Husk hissed and growled as he tried to work himself out of the tight bonds. What kind of knots did these fuckers use?!</p><p>Neither paid his flailing any mind and continued on with the conversation they were having before their kidnapping victim woke up.</p><p>"It's gotta be a diamond ring! Silver or gold rings just aren't good enough." Alastor slurred loudly as Angel nodded with a blush. "Nothing says classy like a big rock on the finger, baby."</p><p>They continued their drunken discussion, paying no heed to their seething captive, even dropping Husk a few more times before they finally got to where they were taking him. Husker was unceremoniously tossed onto what he could only assume was a table or something like that.</p><p>"What's this supposed to be sir?"</p><p>"I need to sell this my good man! I need the money, this fellow here should fetch a good price don't you think?" Alastor gave Husk a few hardy pats to his side as the person he was talking to peeled back the blanket.</p><p>The guy was covered in blood and was wearing a butcher's smock. He gave Husk an appraising look before snorting and looking back at Alastor who was clearly having trouble staying upright.</p><p>"He's pretty scrawny, a lot of this is fur." The butcher grabbed a tuft of fur and twisted it in his fingers disapprovingly.</p><p>"Nonsense! Husk is well aged meat and not to mention, fresh! Why I'd even be willing to take a bite out of him myself but that would lessen his value." Alastor gave Husk a toothy grin that suggested it wouldn't take too much to convince Alastor to take a bite out of him right now.</p><p>Husk lay paralyzed in fear in front of the deer demon who clearly wanted to eat him and the butcher who was now copping a feel at his thighs and muttering about weight, quality and other things as he worked out a price in his head.</p><p>"I'll take him and I'll give you this much for him." The butcher ducked out of sight for a moment to grab a hidden money box and pulled out an undisclosed amount of money before handing it to Alastor.</p><p>That drunk bastard! Husk worked his jaw to try and loosen the gag which was only stuck because it was caught on his back back teeth rather than being strapped in place. The stupid thing had gotten caught on his back teeth as he screamed and swore obscenities around the gag.</p><p>Angel, who had been standing off to the side, started to laugh again at the cat's muffled words. Of course the porn star would laugh, he had been gagged plenty of times before in the movies, (that Husk would never admit to watching) so he could probably make out what he was saying.</p><p>"Anful- fu -stard! Hel- -fee! Fall- fu- -elp -oo- -baferd!"</p><p>Alastor turned around, almost falling in the process as he left Husk to his fate. Angel listened to the cats ranting and nodded, "right! Don't fall and help! Gotcha Husky~" Angel winked at him having clearly misunderstood what he was saying before realizing that Alastor had left and stumbled over himself to chase after him. "Al! You bastard, wait for me won't 'cha?"</p><p>Husk groaned in resignation as he looked to the butcher who was sharpening his knife. Welp, he made it around fifty years or so, give or take. All in all… hmm nah, it still sucked.</p><p>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx</p><p>Charlie and Vaggie spent a quiet night together. They had a nice candle lit dinner and spent the time talking about anything that wasn't the hotel. Laughing, joking, talks of the future before spending a wonderful night in bed.</p><p>Waking up in her girlfriend's arms always put a smile on Charlie's face, she would have slept longer if it wasn't for her phone buzzing like it was a nest of angry bees. She felt around on the unfamiliar bedside table for her phone, she made the mistake of holding it up to her ear when answering.</p><p>"Hello-"</p><p>"<b>CHARLIE COME GET ME RIGHT NOW!</b>"</p><p>The princess jerked and threw her phone away in alarm. Vaggie sat straight up in bed having been startled awake by the shouting. Charlie fetched her phone and held it away from her head as she rubbed at her ear.</p><p>"Husk? Is that you?"</p><p>"<b>YES IT'S ME! FUCKING HELP ME! THAT BASTARD SOLD ME TO A FUCKING BUTCHER!</b>"</p><p>Husk snarled as a clattering bang could be heard in the background. "I bought you fair and square! Now hold still and die already!" A chorus of fucks and angry shouts as more banging went on in the background of the phone call.</p><p>Both women were up and scrambling to get dressed as Husk screamed over the phone. "Husk where are you? We're coming right now!" A hard thud rang out from the phone followed by heavy breathing. "Husk!?" More heavy breathing before Husk answered, "I knocked the fucker out, I'll text you the place's name after I look and see it, I wasn't able to get a look last night because I was tied up."</p><p>Husk ended the call as the two stood there for a moment in shock. "Vaggie, look at this." Charlie sounded confused as Vaggie looked and saw a slew of messages from Angel that varied from coherent to absolute gibberish.</p><p>
  <em>'Charlie I'm getting hitched!'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'Cherri I'm getting married, will you be my best woman?'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'Sorry that was meant for Cherri'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'Hey Cherri, I'm getting married!'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'Oh wait, still Charlie, sorry'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'WHATTHEACTUALFUCKTHATSTUPIDBASTARDBROKEMYHEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'I'm going dress shopping, be back later :'('</em>
</p><p>After that followed a string of texts that were either for Cherri, text complaining that Charlie and Cherri's names both started with a C, a few phallic symbols and a string of numbers for some reason before stopping all together.</p><p>It looked like a spring in Vaggie's brain had snapped and broke several other springs in the process. "Umm, shouldn't we go get Husk?" Vaggie gave a slight nod as Charlie led her to the limo to pick up their doorman/bartender.</p><p>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx</p><p>Angel groaned as he stumbled out of the changing room. His head felt like it had been curb stomped by an elephant last night and his side hurt like he had plowed through a wall or something.</p><p>Angel vaguely remembered what happened last night, the drinking, the flirting, the rejection. His face twisted into a scowl as he stepped in front of the mirror in a slutty black cocktail dress that barely covered the goods. He turned to face the bride-to-be who snorted his rejection of the outfit.</p><p>Fat Nuggets it turns out was a very traditional bride. This was the seventh outfit he had shot down for being too sexy and pointed a small trotter back towards the changing room where an associate stood by with a bemused look.</p><p>"Can you get me something more to his tastes?" Angel pointed accusingly towards his pet who was already fully dressed up. "Apparently I'm not allowed to show this much skin," another series of snorts and grunts was directed towards the two which got another overly dramatic sigh from the porn star, "he wants it in pink and it has to be on the conservative side."</p><p>It was like the concept of covering up to the well known stripper was like holy water to a demon. The idea alone burned. The attendant nodded and walked off to find something that would end the weirdest appointment she's ever been a part of.</p><p>Angel shot his pet a dirty look that lasted for about three seconds before it melted away and his face expressed a heartfelt joy. "My baby is getting married… to the man he stole from me." He got a reprimanding oink before he held up his hands in defence, "alright, alright! Sorry, I can't help it ya know."</p><p>Fat Nuggets oinked but his scolding was just too cute to take seriously. The attended returned with an outfit that Angel grimaced at and shot Fat Nuggets one last pleading look before going into the changing room.</p><p>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx</p><p>Angel got plenty of cat calls and weird looks as he carried his little bride to be home. He was still mad that Alastor chose his pet over him when they returned after getting the rings that he went on a rampage through the halls, knocking over picture frames and throwing his clothes off in a fit of rage.</p><p>"Way to get a guy's hopes up, Al." Angel couldn't help but grumble the whole time as he came to a stop in front of the hotel, paying the limo no mind as he set the bride-to-be down.</p><p>"Let me go find the bastard you married baby, I think he said something about waiting for you in the 'honeymoon sweet', whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean."</p><p>Angel spun around and proceeded to kick the door open with a loud, "I'm back bitches!"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Enjoy my work? Why not leave a kudo or if you really want to make my day, leave me a comment. They always make my day and I'm always happy to talk to all of my dear sick little duckies ❤</p><p>I also have a discord server now! Still don't have the link yet, sorry!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So some of you might be wondering wtf am I? Well let's just say I am both insanely lazy and I've had a few things happen in my personal life that's starting to clear up.</p><p>I'm currently working on Mr. Hitman chap 31, Spark of Interest and parts of False Sapphire. If you want more updates or just to tell me to get my fluffy butt in gear you can join me on my cleaned up discord server!</p><p>... Yeah the old one was a mess! Anyways the server no longer serves as a Malcan server and is now focused on my writtings as a whole.</p><p>(I'll find the link later, sorry!)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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